Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I AM VODKA MAN
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
