I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
