Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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