apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
