You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
