yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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