At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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