he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
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