Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
