so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
