dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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