Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have fence marks all over my body
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
