Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
