you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
where are my eyebrows?
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