$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
