i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
