In the future we'll all be gay
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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