we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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