and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
