his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just want to make out with him forever
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
