fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
