i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize