as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
