I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
