I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
