You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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