i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My vagina just recognized that song.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize