I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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