Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
