what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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