Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
