Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
