u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
