Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
