there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
