youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
it was like eating out sand paper
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
