..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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