Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
