Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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