well I can't set my house on fire every night
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
