I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
