i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize