his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
