We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
