He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
