I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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