I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
