her vagine was all disorganized.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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