No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
