My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
