Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
