ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
