Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize