READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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