I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
