she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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