Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
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