He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
