new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
