Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
