just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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