Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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